About self rejection and our way in life

Recently I discovered something very interesting about myself and the way I used to behave around people and sometimes I still do. I just discovered a pattern that used to happen whenever I arrived to a new place or had to change my job, or place of study; this pattern came to me by analyzing others behavior when they were introduced to a new group of people and how the initial attitude of themselves can severely affect the responses from that group of people and also the future behavior of that people towards them.

 I started by analyzing the attitude of people with very different personalities, from the completely outgoing, extroverted people to the shy people, including the reserved and grumpy people. Well I am sure psychologists has already evaluated all this behaviors but I want to explain it to you from my own point of view and the way I’m trying to solve it. So, looking at their behavior I started to observe how their personality used to influence their initial contact-relation with the members of the group. As is well known, of course extroverted people immediately used to get all the attention from the group, opening themselves to others in such an easy way, creating a strong connection to others, that the group accepted them immediately and integrated them to their activities in a matter of hours or days.

While this happened to extroverted, other kind of people, more reserved, shy or grumpy, tend to had difficulties coupling with the same group of people, creating connections only within long periods of time and with same minded people. That’s what happened to me, because of my shy past and my fear of talking with new people I tend to isolated myself from the new group of people that I just have met. I tend to prejudice people in the group and close my mind to their ideas, close myself towards sharing time with them, even taking to them. The funny thing, which I never realized before, is that whenever I had to interact with a new group of people I tend to believe that they didn’t want to relate to me, their differences scared me and wasn’t able to generate connection with them. Suddenly, the people in the group started to behave exactly the way I believed they were going to behave, closing themselves to me, not talking to me, not inviting me anymore to join their activities, etcetera, and all this just used to increase my believes that they were bad people, people with problems relating to others, people that used to hate me without reason. I used to think that it was my bad luck that wherever I used to go I found people with strange problems that never wanted to share with me.

What was really happening and what I didn’t realized for a long time is that I was rejecting myself before the group did it. Unconsciously, I was telling to myself that the persons I was going to meet were going to reject me because of who I was. These thoughts were predominantly in my mind in the way of images, words and feelings and came from my disturbed past in which I had these types of experiences, mainly rejection, many times. Reading about psychology, I realized that our thoughts, the thoughts that are predominant in our mind, are able to influence our reality by giving orders to our subconscious; the subconscious interpret those orders and modify the future responses of the world around us accordingly; if our mind is full predominantly with thoughts of rejection about ourselves those thoughts will influence the way others look at us so powerful that other people will tend to reject us. If, contrary, our mind is predominantly full with thoughts about being accepted as we are, those thoughts will be transmuted into their physical counterpart and the universe and people will start to behave accordingly accepting and taking the good things about us.

When I went to Germany for the first time in my life I had such a great experience, which I can say was the first one in my life where I arrived to a place and related to other people so powerful that become one of my greatest times in life, and that just happened because the way I started to think about it before having the trip, unconsciously and consciously I wanted to have a great time there so that my predominant thoughts were able to make the things happened the way I wanted to happened, I always saw myself being accepted by the people over there, without even knowing that people and that idea just become true to make me had a great time!

If you are unable to connect to people, if you cannot understand people around yourself or you always finish having problems with the people around you, examine yourself first cause maybe the answer to all what’s happening in your relations with other come from your mind, examine what are your dominant thoughts, how do you see, hear and feel yourself surrounded by others, how do you normally interact with people and what’s your attitude towards them. Then change your thoughts accordingly to the responses you want to get from people and your subconscious is going to start changing your world in such a powerful way that your life will become better and your relations with others will be driven to a new level of happiness that will definitely open your world to thousand new opportunities for your life!

Living a lie

I have seen so many people, including myself, living in so many different ways a life that they don’t want to live; these people are usually trapped in their own world where they live a life but not the life they really want or wanted to live. Time passes and they submerge in their “life” living what they have to live but not what they want, leaving others dreams but not their dreams, following others way but not their way.

I have seen so many people surrender their dreams, changing them for whatever they can get from life, I have seen men and women that have gave up looking for what they really want, their biggest desires, and their dreams. I see so many people full of excuses to not go out and get what they really want, either is about finding their true love, becoming rich, powerful, living their childhood dreams, etc, these people lives frustrated in their inside and just  live an apparent “happy life”. I really don’t understand how somebody can die knowing that their life was a lie, that they never pursue their real dreams and that they never did what they really wanted to do. How can they wake up knowing that they could do better in life, they could be better and get further than anybody else and still they didn’t do anything to change their lives, I don’t understand how you can wake up every morning knowing that your are living a fake life and still don’t do anything to change it, why do us make so many excuses to not overcome our fears and get what we want?, poverty, illness, age, family or whatever is not an excuse to fight for what we really want, all of those are just ideas in our mind that limits ourselves, that hide the power of what we really can do and can become.

So, what are you waiting to stand up and start looking for what you really want?, think that there are no limitations for what you can be or do in life, doesn't matter what is the starting point, your actual state, it depends only on your will, your desire and your faith to believe that no matter how difficult your dreams look like there is always a way to achieve them, don’t keep living a lie, don t keep resigning to whatever life give you, start to be the owner of your life, start to see that your life belong to you and this world is made for you, this is a reality where you can actively participate in whatever happens on it, you are the observer of this world and it belongs to you.

I’m glad for that people who decided to overcome their fears, get up from their commodity, have faith and live the life they want to, those people that has left everything they had to become what they really wanted to be, that people that left the things that use to keep them “safe” or hurt them looking for their peace, love, health and wealth, I’m glad for that people that is fighting for their dreams to come true even if everybody around them tell them that what they want is impossible, I’m glad for that people that took their fear and convert it into power, power to move forward, to overcome the problems life always bring to them in their way to success. I’m glad if you are one of those and I’m glad if you have decided to join me and others in our way to become what we want and get what we really deserve.

There is only one way in life, success.

Movement is Change!

Changing is a long journey, is a trip to our deeper fears, a long road full of failures were success is warranty to only those who never give up, the ones who believe a great reward is waiting for them at the end of the road.

Is not easy to take the decision to change, most people think they don’t need to change anything in their life, effectively some people don’t, some people actually are very happy with their life, they have got whatever they wanted, their dreams have came true; those are a few that has already gone through their journey of change and improvement, challenged their selves to the maximum, fighting for everything that they wanted to get and for sure now they are living the life they always wanted. From my point of view the rest of the people fall into three groups, the first one is the people who think they don’t need to change anything in their life, the second one consist of people who don’t want to change their life and the third one is the people who want to change cause have realized their life can be better than actually is.

The people who think they don’t need to change their life and the people who don’t want to change their life usually are people dominated by fear, some people is afraid of changing cause their point of view is ruled by the society where they are immersed, a society that usually tell them that the way of changing and self development is for weird people or losers, is people that looks usually happy but inside their fear rules their life, they grew up with the thought that you have to resign to be in the position that life choose for you, they always avoid to get involved in big quests and prefer to look happy by not taking risks; fear control their life completely, fear of what others could say about them, fear of themselves, fear of losing battles. These people go proudly in the world saying that they don’t need to change their life, they think they are always right, but their life isn’t great, they resign to what life can give them, they don’t fight, their days are always the same, they spend their life immerse in their own reality of laziness, mediocrity, pride and arrogance, they prefer to have something in their hands than releasing what they have in search for something bigger. I hope my dear reader you don’t fall in this category.

Sometimes looks easier to not do anything, change requires energy, movement, pain, suffering, changing requires to move the whole structure of the universe, breaking the rules of nature. Sometimes is better to choose not to change, especially when there is so many people around you willing that you don’t change,  willing that you don’t grow up in life as they cannot do it, they don’t like change and don’t want anything around to change, remember they are afraid of change, so they will always try hard to keep you as you are cause for them finding your own way make them remember the feelings that change could bring to them, pain, suffering, etc, they never see what is at the end of the road, which reward is waiting for them and for you, they only see what they are made to see and stick to that.

But how do you actually start to change? I think if you have already recognized that you need to change something in your life you have taken a big step into a new world, a new life of discovery and infinite possibilities. Movement is the greatest engine of change, if you have move what is inside you, if you have started to question yourself, your life, your achievements, your current state then you are in the way to change; now turn on that engine of change and start to move!, doing something is the greatest way to start to change, anything!. Read a book, go out of your house, buy new clothes, talk to people, whatever! Don’t stick to your life as it is, start to become the owner of your life!, to own your own life, your own reality, be the owner of your happiness is the greatest think that can happen! Never is too late to start a new life, to fight for your dreams, to become better, if you just took the decision of changing anything in your life, start to look inside you what is wrong, what need to be change but most important start to act!

When you start to move you start to compromise yourself to something, you start to become responsible of what you do. I started this blog as a way to move, to compromise myself to be better every single day of my life, to move others life by moving my life, this blog already brought me responsibility to write, challenge to become a good writer, impulse to read about different aspects all related to personal growth and also live more, get more expertise in life, I am linked to your growth know, I am challenged to convince you that I can guide you; this is a very big challenge for me. When you start to move, movement start to bring you the tools to keep moving, the more you move the more you want to keep moving, going further. If you have taken the decision to move just keep moving, go with the flow and your way in life will be revealed.

See you!

Sorcery and your way in life, another perspective

From all my years dealing with my beautiful mother’s tendency to do sorcery every time she can in order to “improve our way of leaving”, which for her used to mean burn incense in our house, which used to make me leave the house for hours until no more smell was there, pray to strange saints, do rituals with food and drinks and some other things in order to get more money, be healthy, happy, have success and whatever else you can imagine, I came to realize that all those actions could make somebody very impressionable, like a child or a teenager, think about him/her abilities as no useful in life if by doing sorcery you can fill all the needs you have.

My opinion about making sorcery to get any improvement in live, independently if I believe it really works or not, is that sorcery really limits your view of your own abilities. When doing it, for others or for you, indirectly you are sending others and yourself a message of insecurity about their aptitudes (if sorcery is used in others person or looking to “help” somebody else) or your own aptitudes (if you use it in yourself). When you do sorcery basically you are putting your confidence, your dreams, your health, your wealth, your future, your love, etcetera in the hands of something unreal, something that is out of your control and you cannot manage, and at the same time you are giving a message to yourself and others about the limitations that you have to achieve your goals in life by using your own abilities to pursue your dreams, future and wealth and take care of yourself. The same if you are practicing it for others, you are showing them their limitations to get what they want by their own.

When you do sorcery expecting to get something from life basically you are showing that you are unable to achieve or get whatever you are trying to achieve by your own means, using your own abilities and talent; how can you trust sorcery to solve your problems in life?, how can you trust your future to any kind of ritual? Haven’t you realize that you are the owner of your life and you can achieve anything you want without the help of magic tricks? And when I said sorcery I’m not taking about people doing black magic, or huge things like disappearing yourself or a car or whatever if that’s what you are thinking, I’m taking about the small rituals people do to attract money, health, etc, things that most of the people does in this days.

When you do sorcery to “help” others way, like you children, husband, wife, friends or anybody, you are also telling that people that you are doing sorcery for them because they are not able to get what they need or want by themselves. For example, if you do a ritual to make your child be better in the school basically you are showing your child that you believe he does not has the aptitudes to be better by himself; you are questioning his ability to be a better student by actually studying hard!; see the message you are sending to someone so impressionable like a nine years old boy/girl!  Imagine that persons you are trying to help with sorcery in the future asking themselves if they are where they are because of their intelligence, strength and will to be better every single day or is because you used to practice all kind of sorcery on them to “help them” become what they wanted to be when they were younger! Can you see that by trying to help somebody in that way you are actually questioning what they are able to do by themselves?

Practicing sorcery (if works) can be a simple and easy way to get what you want in life for you and the people you love, but personally I prefer the challenge of getting what I want, getting it because of my hard work, will, desire and abilities and talents that I have and not because a magic trick is working on me making me get all these things, I don’t think there is an easy way to get what you really want in live and for sure sorcery is not the way to get it; think about how sorcery makes you look like, like somebody that is not able to fight for what you want, like somebody lazy that wants to find the short, mediocre, way to be successful and think about what you are telling to others, specially your child, about their abilities to be successful in life when you do sorcery for them.

Abracadabra! Or whatever makes me disappear…

How many options do you have? Part 2

Quantum mechanics, another perspective of life

One of the implications derived from the development of quantum mechanics is the property of quantum superposition. Some people say that quantum mechanics show us reality as a world of possibilities and this is derived from the interpretation given to quantum superimposition. Here Ill not pretend to described in detailed what quantum superimposition means or is derived from but better I’ll give you a useful example on how this could open your mind to the idea that you create your own reality and your interpretation of that reality is based on your own choices which at the end would lead you to understand how many options do you have, if you just open your mind.

Erwin Schrödinger, one of the fathers of quantum mechanics, proposed a simple though experiment to understand quantum superposition and is called Schrödinger’s cat. Basically, in my own words and simplifying it, the mind experiment consist in this: you take a cat and put it in a box which is completely closed and inside the box you put a poisonous substance that could kill the cat only after a series of events that could happen inside the box are triggered, and you assume there is a 50% chance that after one hour these series of events are triggered or not making the cat breath the poisonous gas or not, so when you open the box, you will find out whether the cat is dead (50% chance) or alive (50% chance). If you consider yourself as an observer of the system (cat in a box), you could realize that you will never know whether the cat inside the box is dead or alive until you open it, which implies that while you don’t open the box, the cat, the only cat in the box will exist in two states, dead and alive, that means the box will contain a cat that is alive and a cat that is dead at the same time but there is only a cat, one cat, the one you put in the box!. In other words unless you choose to see what’s in the box, there will be always the possibility that inside it there is an alive cat and a dead cat. After you, the observer, open the box only one of those two options will occur and you will only find a cat dead or alive!.

Now, what means this in your real live?, what if you are the observer of your own reality, what if your observation of reality change your own reality?, you could be able to choose what will happen in your live at every moment if you understand that at any time there is a world of possibilities, options, that could become real if you choose them to happen! You always choose whether the cat is dead or alive!. Let’s make another example. Imagine your house with somebody inside it while you are standing outside ready to open the door to enter into the house. The person inside the house can be anywhere in the house before you open the door, that means that person could be sleeping in his room, having food in the kitchen, sitting in the living room, watching TV or in the bathroom. According to quantum superimposition, all this things can be happening at the same time before you open the door, that means, the only person in the house can be sleeping in his room, having food in the kitchen, sitting in the living room, watching tv and in the bathroom at the same time but only one of these things will happen or are going to become real when you open the door, that means you will only find the person doing one of this things, the one you chose to happen, cause you are the observer of your own reality!

That’s why if you choose to be sad a lot of sad events from the world of possibilities usually start to happen, haven’t you ever feel sad and notice that more sad things start to happen? What if you choose to be happy?, a lot of happy events will happen! Remember you are the one who choose whether happy or sad events happens as you are the observer of your own reality!. But how do you actually choose what is going to happen?, through your thoughts! If you think the love of your live will appear in front of you now and you really believe it, has faith that that will happen, it will happen! Why? Because that option already exist in the world of possibilities and you as the observer would have chose it among the other possibilities! 

How many options do you have? Part 1

How many times have you felt like you don’t have any options to keep going forward in something you really wanted to do, following your dreams or just doing a simple task that you need to do? The real question is how many options can you have to solve a problem when something goes wrong? How many options do you have to reach your goals? Do you leave your dreams and goals because of the lack of ideas about something? Do you have options?

I have spent a good number of hours in the last year reading about several different things like neuro-linguistic programming, quantum physics and business management, which I just found are all much related and can give us a great tool to grow in life and reach our own goals. Having more options give you more opportunities in life. Is very funny to see how people keep doing the same things expecting to obtain different results and they do not evaluate all the great possibilities that they have to become successful and solve their problems by changing what they are doing!. This post is the beginning of a short series of post related with having options in your life as a tool to get what you want.

NLP is a great tool for having options

NLP, neuro-linguistic programming, is a science itself, a part of psychology who has developed recently and is based on the study of our mental processes, our way to think and to act, which is related directly with our use of the language. NLP give us so many tools to improve our life and our view of the world as well as the way we interact with other people. I’m not going to explain the principles of NLP in this post but I’m just going to let you know that NLP is a magnificent tool to improve ourselves and our life and everybody should have a look at it.

One of the basic teachings that NLP give us is that to get whatever we want in life we should follow some simple steps, that could seem obvious, but most people don’t follow: you should first set objectives to reach your goals; what do you want?, what are you looking for?. How are you going to do it? When you know what you want and you have decided how you are going to do it then the next step is to be conscious about the things that are happening in respect to what you are doing while you are trying to reach your goals, for example, look at what kind of answers are you getting from the actions you are making. Are those answers what you are looking for? Finally and more important, NLP ask you to know what options do you have to reach your goals, how can you change your actions to obtain the answer you are looking for?

NLP teach us that in order to achieve different results we must do different things!, you cannot get a different answer from doing the same thing over and over, but by having options you can have different ways of solving a problem and reaching you goals; when something seems to not be working for you, do something different, anything, don’t keep doing the same thing!. Knowing that you have options and which options you have gives you different opportunities and pathways to reach your goals. It is as simple as that!