Recently I discovered something very interesting about myself and the way I used to behave around people and sometimes I still do. I just discovered a pattern that used to happen whenever I arrived to a new place or had to change my job, or place of study; this pattern came to me by analyzing others behavior when they were introduced to a new group of people and how the initial attitude of themselves can severely affect the responses from that group of people and also the future behavior of that people towards them.
I started by analyzing the attitude of people with very different personalities, from the completely outgoing, extroverted people to the shy people, including the reserved and grumpy people. Well I am sure psychologists has already evaluated all this behaviors but I want to explain it to you from my own point of view and the way I’m trying to solve it. So, looking at their behavior I started to observe how their personality used to influence their initial contact-relation with the members of the group. As is well known, of course extroverted people immediately used to get all the attention from the group, opening themselves to others in such an easy way, creating a strong connection to others, that the group accepted them immediately and integrated them to their activities in a matter of hours or days.
While this happened to extroverted, other kind of people, more reserved, shy or grumpy, tend to had difficulties coupling with the same group of people, creating connections only within long periods of time and with same minded people. That’s what happened to me, because of my shy past and my fear of talking with new people I tend to isolated myself from the new group of people that I just have met. I tend to prejudice people in the group and close my mind to their ideas, close myself towards sharing time with them, even taking to them. The funny thing, which I never realized before, is that whenever I had to interact with a new group of people I tend to believe that they didn’t want to relate to me, their differences scared me and wasn’t able to generate connection with them. Suddenly, the people in the group started to behave exactly the way I believed they were going to behave, closing themselves to me, not talking to me, not inviting me anymore to join their activities, etcetera, and all this just used to increase my believes that they were bad people, people with problems relating to others, people that used to hate me without reason. I used to think that it was my bad luck that wherever I used to go I found people with strange problems that never wanted to share with me.
What was really happening and what I didn’t realized for a long time is that I was rejecting myself before the group did it. Unconsciously, I was telling to myself that the persons I was going to meet were going to reject me because of who I was. These thoughts were predominantly in my mind in the way of images, words and feelings and came from my disturbed past in which I had these types of experiences, mainly rejection, many times. Reading about psychology, I realized that our thoughts, the thoughts that are predominant in our mind, are able to influence our reality by giving orders to our subconscious; the subconscious interpret those orders and modify the future responses of the world around us accordingly; if our mind is full predominantly with thoughts of rejection about ourselves those thoughts will influence the way others look at us so powerful that other people will tend to reject us. If, contrary, our mind is predominantly full with thoughts about being accepted as we are, those thoughts will be transmuted into their physical counterpart and the universe and people will start to behave accordingly accepting and taking the good things about us.
When I went to Germany for the first time in my life I had such a great experience, which I can say was the first one in my life where I arrived to a place and related to other people so powerful that become one of my greatest times in life, and that just happened because the way I started to think about it before having the trip, unconsciously and consciously I wanted to have a great time there so that my predominant thoughts were able to make the things happened the way I wanted to happened, I always saw myself being accepted by the people over there, without even knowing that people and that idea just become true to make me had a great time!
If you are unable to connect to people, if you cannot understand people around yourself or you always finish having problems with the people around you, examine yourself first cause maybe the answer to all what’s happening in your relations with other come from your mind, examine what are your dominant thoughts, how do you see, hear and feel yourself surrounded by others, how do you normally interact with people and what’s your attitude towards them. Then change your thoughts accordingly to the responses you want to get from people and your subconscious is going to start changing your world in such a powerful way that your life will become better and your relations with others will be driven to a new level of happiness that will definitely open your world to thousand new opportunities for your life!
No comments:
Post a Comment